What women really want for Valentine’s Day!
Valentine’s Day is a polarizing holiday, most people love it or hate it. Most men associate it with over-priced flowers, heart shaped jewelry, long waits in packed restaurant lobby’s, and chocolate that the ladies will eat, then complain about how it made them fat. Am I right?
Well, guys I am here to tell you what women really want for Valentine’s Day, and trust me, it is not the traditional fare.
For most women, they just want to feel human and loved.
What do I mean by that? Each time I asked a mother what she wanted for Valentine’s Day the response was a version of, “More help, more sleep, more time to myself to ______________ (fill it in with read a book, get a massage, paint my nails, do something for me), and more compliments from the hubby even when I don’t look great.”
As mothers, most of us dedicate a lot of our time, energy, and effort to the care of others, and for Valentine’s Day we just want a little bit of care sent our way, and a little bit of time to recharge and refresh. Here are our ideas for making that happen:
Kisses that don’t lead to sex.
Women want to feel loved, wanted, and needed, but they do not want to only feel that way when things are getting hot and heavy. Show her how much you love her with more touching, kissing, and compliments, without sex being involved. Give her a back rub without any ulterior motives. Wink Wink!
Women love to feel noticed and complimented. We all do. Tell her she looks good in her yoga pants. Let her know when she catches your eye. Find something you love about her, and make a big point of telling her about it.
We know you work hard, and come home tired, but maybe make an effort to help more at home. I would rather have my husband take over dishes for the week than buy me flowers. But it is not practical to leave a sink full of dirty dishes until he gets home. So how about buying some housekeeping? Not just housekeeping though, as that is not really just for her. Give conditional housekeeping. For example, pre-pay for 2 hours of housekeeping, but tell her the 2 hours where someone else is cleaning toilets and mopping floors must be spent reading gossip magazines and painting toenails (or some other variation of this). No kids, no work, no errands. Just time for her! Trust me, it will be the best gift ever.
Most parents do not get enough sleep. Give her the gift of sleep. Coupons for naps, a night away in a cozy hotel, with the kids safely taken care of, and no plans so she can sleep in, or something else that means a few extra hours rest can be the perfect gift. Figure out why she isn’t getting enough (usually because there are not enough hours in the day to do it all), and find a gift that helps remedy this. It might be housekeeping, it might be some pre-made meals, it might be a girl’s weekend away.
While many women are great at keeping themselves up, I can’t tell you the last time I took care of me first. I am usually trying to fit a shower and blow dry between diaper changes, packing lunches, and cleaning up breakfast. A great gift for any woman would be time to be pampered, to get ready, and to feel human. How do you give her this? How about arranging for a spa day, complete with a babysitter, pre-booked, non-refundable so that nothing can get in the way? If this doesn’t fit in your budget, how about a homemade coupon for “I will take over all morning duties on (specify date) so you can take a bubble bath, shave, paint your toenails, wash and dry and style your hair, etc.”?
Time to herself.
As mom to four time to myself comes at a premium. I am not even sure if I have used the bathroom without someone knocking on the door needing something in the last decade (sad but true), so a great gift to give the woman you love this year for Valentine’s Day would be time to herself. Give her a book and tell her to get in the car and drive to the beach/park/coffee shop/library and read until it is finished. You will take care of everything. Book a little get away for her. Arrange for a babysitter for a day and tell her to spend it doing whatever she wants, shopping, sleeping, watching chick flicks, skiing, surfing. It doesn’t matter how it is spent, just that she gets to choose, and that it gets to be for her.
Of course, these are just the things we think are best, our readers shared a few ideas of their own:
A shower and a nap….. all by myself;-)
To lay out at the pool/beach by myself and read a book!
A babysitter and a night out.
A date away from the kids where we actually get to talk is always nice. But I also love the little things he can do to show he loves me, like calling me at lunch or just a text saying that he’s thinking of me.
I would love some fresh flowers (maybe because it’s so gray and dreary here in Utah!) some really good dark chocolate (but not too much to be dangerous) and a night out or in with just the two of us!
I love purses!
A romantic sunset picnic on the beach with some “fake” candles. (you know battery operated) And by picnic..I mean sandwiches..something easy and cheap. Just the gesture would be sweet and precious.
A clean house and the evening planned.
An afternoon free of Bebe. A massage. Dinner made for me.
I like getting a card. It’s one of the three times a year my husband writes me a love letter.
Effort and Romance: decorate car/room/office, romantic scavenger hunt, candlelit dinner, love notes, meaningful gift, overnight trip, coupons (for naps, diaper change duty, putting kids to bed, etc.).
Another day to hold each other
A Day Spa pass is always nice, and/or a massage Alone time and pampering (=
A handwritten love letter
To go to Heceta Head lighthouse Inn, having a room with a full ocean view, and him deciding where we will have dinner instead of always asking me!
A few hours of alone time to pamper myself before a date night out. He chooses the restaurant. No indecisiveness!
What do you women want for Valentine’s Day from your significant other? Tell us in the comments or on our Facebook page.